On Being White... or Asian...

I looked at the blogs http://blog.stuffblackpeoplelove.com/ and http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/ since we talked about them in class briefly. Interestingly enough, blogs such as http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/ and http://stufflatinpeoplelike.com/. I bet there are more out there, but I just skimmed for a little bit.

It was interesting, per our class discussion, that if you like something on one list, that would make you more "black" or "white" (or Asian, or Latino, etc.), depending on which list.

What one of my classmates brought up, was that her roommate said that although she wasn't White, it was like she was, since she seemed like she was more "White" than "Asian." I had a similar encounter a couple of years ago. I met the girl who would become one of my best friends from freshman year of college on facebook the summer before we started school. We were living on the same floor and had the same major. Upon talking to one another we realized we not only had the same taste in music, but we both played the piano, were cubs fans, loved sushi and boba tea, and ran cross country in high school. I was convinced we were practically twins. I didn't really look a whole lot at her facebook pictures, since I didn't really know her. But I was really surprised to find out that she was Asian rather than White. It was like in the first reading we had of this semester - everything is assumed to be White unless otherwise specified. I didn't really think much about it after the first time we met. She acted "White," whatever that is, rather than Asian. Except for the fact that she was pre-med. Anyway, I had my first serious discussion about race with her. Well, not really a serious discussion, but I guess it was just my first actual discussion about race. She told me that she never really felt "Asian" despite the fact that her parents were immigrants from the Philippines. In high school she did "White" things like run cross country, listen to indie music, and go to concerts. She was smart and took school seriously, but wasn't notorious for studying all the time like the typical Asian stereotype.

And if I remember correctly, this conversation continued with my response, "Yeah, you don't really seem Asian, it's more like you're White." It's really interesting for me to pick apart my past experiences and think about them in a new light.

What is being "White" anyway?
According to The Full List of Stuff White People Like (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/):
* #121 Funny or Ironic Tattoos
* #120 Taking a Year Off
* #119 Sea Salt
* #118 Ugly Sweater Parties
* #117 Political Prisoners
* #116 Black Music that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
* #115 Promising to Learn a New Language
* #114 America
* #113 Halloween
* #112 Hummus
* #111 Pea Coats
* #110 Frisbee Sports
* #109 The Onion
* #108 Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music
* #107 Self Aware Hip Hop References
* #106 Facebook
* #105 Unpaid Internships
* #104 Girls with Bangs
* #103 Sweaters
* #102 Children’s Games as Adults
* #101 Being Offended
* #100 Bumper Stickers
* #99 Grammar
* #98 The Ivy League
* #97 Scarves
* #96 New Balance Shoes
* #95 Rugby
* #94 Free Healthcare
* #93 Music Piracy
* #92 Book Deals
* #91 San Francisco
* #90 Dinner Parties
* #89 St. Patrick’s Day
* #88 Having Gay Friends
* #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
* #86 Shorts
* #85 The Wire
* #84 T-Shirts
* #83 Bad Memories of High School
* #82 Hating Corporations
* #81 Graduate School
* #80 The Idea of Soccer
* #79 Modern Furniture
* #78 Multilingual Children
* #77 Musical Comedy
* #76 Bottles of Water
* #75 Threatening to Move to Canada
* #74 Oscar Parties
* #73 Gentrification
* #72 Study Abroad
* #71 Being the only white person around
* #70 Difficult Breakups
* #69 Mos Def
* #68 Michel Gondry
* #67 Standing Still at Concerts
* #66 Divorce
* #65 Co-Ed Sports
* #64 Recycling
* #63 Expensive Sandwiches
* #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
* #61 Bicycles
* #60 Toyota Prius
* #59 Natural Medicine
* #58 Japan
* #57 Juno
* #56 Lawyers
* #55 Apologies
* #54 Kitchen Gadgets
* #53 Dogs
* #52 Sarah Silverman
* #51 Living by the Water
* #50 Irony
* #49 Vintage
* #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
* #47 Arts Degrees
* #46 The Sunday New York Times
* #45 Asian Fusion Food
* #44 Public Radio
* #43 Plays
* #42 Sushi
* #41 Indie Music
* #40 Apple Products
* #39 Netflix
* #38 Arrested Development
* #37 Renovations
* #36 Breakfast Places
* #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
* #34 Architecture
* #33 Marijuana
* #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
* #31 Snowboarding
* #30 Wrigley Field
* #29 80s Night
* #28 Not having a TV
* #27 Marathons
* #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
* #25 David Sedaris
* #24 Wine
* #23 Microbreweries
* #22 Having Two Last Names
* #21 Writers Workshops
* #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
* #19 Traveling
* #18 Awareness
* #17 Hating their Parents
* #16 Gifted Children
* #15 Yoga
* #14 Having Black Friends
* #13 Tea
* #12 Non-Profit Organizations
* #11 Asian Girls
* #10 Wes Anderson Movies
* #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
* #8 Barack Obama
* #7 Diversity
* #6 Organic Food
* #5 Farmer’s Markets
* #4 Assists
* #3 Film Festivals
* #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
* #1 Coffee

Now, the Full List of Stuff Asian People Like (http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/stuff-asian-people-like-full-list/):
· #106 Talking at the Worst Times
· #105 Internet Stardom
· #104 Staying Open on Christmas Day
· #103 Naming Daughters After Jewelry
· #102 Being Modest about ***
· #101 Being or Not Being Asian
· #100 Reserved
· #99 MSG
· #98 Studying Overseas
· #97 Model Poses
· #96 Kirkland Bottled Water & Brita Water Filters
· #95 Resenting Asian Women for Dating Caucasian Males
· #94 Jay Chou
· #93 Choreographed Dancing
· #92 University of California
· #91 Multilingualism
· #90 The Number 9
· #89 Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle
· #88 Numbers (8-8-08)
· #87 ‘Lah”
· #86 Not Having Pets
· #85 Arranged Marriages
· #84 Child Labor
· #83 Not Moving Out
· #82 Mangosteen
· #81 National Scatology
· #80 Aiya!
· #79 Plastic Furniture Covers
· #78 Sriracha Sauce
· #77 Techno
· #76 Fresh Food
· #75 Dumplings
· #74 Middle Finger Pointing
· #73 Bleached Hair
· #72 Disneyland
· #71 Tennis
· #70 Nice Guys
· #69 Badminton
· #68 Chili
· #67 Goldfish
· #66 Taking Pictures
· #65 Being Blunt
· #64 Not Taking the Last Piece of Food
· #63 Squatting
· #62 Moth Balls
· #61 Variety Shows
· #60 Wontons
· #59 Pale Skin
· #58 Golden Poop Charms
· #57 Gambling
· #56 Procrastination
· #55 Sappy Music Videos
· #54 False Humility
· #53 The Wok
· #52 Dance Dance Revolution
· #51 Higher Education
· #50 Western Culture
· #49 Language Proficiency
· #48 House Hunting
· #47 The Child
· #46 Cutting In Line
· #45 Nagging
· #44 Fortune Cookies
· #43 Spring & Egg Rolls
· #42 Final Fantasy
· #41 Eye Enlargement
· #40 White Girls
· #39 Glasses
· #38 White Guys
· #37 Piano & Violin
· #36 Aging Cookware
· #35 Peace Sign
· #34 Fish Sauce
· #33 Jet Li & Bruce Lee
· #32 Speaking Loudly
· #31 Rice
· #30 Cash
· #29 Slurping
· #28 Hoarding
· #27 Jackie Chan
· #26 Comparing People
· #25 Staring at People
· #24 Chopsticks
· #23 Durian
· #22 Asian Buffets
· #21 Growing Stuff In Own Yard
· #20 Bad Pronunciation
· #19 Arriving Late
· #18 Handwashing the Dishes
· #17 Asian Supermarkets
· #16 Not Wearing Shoes Indoors
· #15 Nintendo Wii
· #14 Honda Civic
· #13 Pimped Out Cars
· #12 Basketball
· #11 Eagle & Tiger Balm
· #10 Boba
· #9 Asian Comedians
· #8 Karaoke
· #7 Anime
· #6 Korean Soap Operas
· #5 Bargains
· #4 Bowl Haircuts
· #3 Academics
· #2 Purikura Photos
· #1 Cute Plush Toys

I think it's interesting to look at these lists and compare them to the things my friend and I had in common. Most of the stuff I mentioned previously is on the White list (indie music, Wrigley Field, Sushi, coffee) with the exception of Boba tea, which is on the Asian list.

Now, I kind of feel uncomfortable trying to analyze where my friend was in her racial development at the time of this conversation, but here goes. At this time, her father wanted her to be a doctor, but she actually wanted to be a music major. She was taking the typical pre-med classes until her sophomore year when she decided to go into nursing, instead.

On page 53 of Tatum's book, she describes the four identity statuses in the identity search process:
1. Diffuse: little exploration
2. Foreclosed: parents select your roles
3. Moratorium: an active exploration of roles
4. Achieved: a state of strong personal commitment to identity after an active exploration

I think my friend was in the Foreclosed state when I met her first semester freshman year. Second semester when she was actively exploring different majors, she was in the Moratorium state. Now, that she has finally decided on nursing and is actively pursuing that path, she is now in the Achieved state.

However, this is just in relation to her identity as a college student. She may very well be in different states when it comes to other aspects of her life such as dating or socially.